


This TIme Around

by foreverinprinxietyhell



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Arguments, Coming Out, Difficult Decisions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heart-to-Heart, Heavy Angst, Hook-Up, Hugs, Identity Issues, Jealousy, M/M, Making Up, Moving On, One Night Stands, Online Dating, Revelations, Unrequited Love, letting go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 09:11:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17200712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverinprinxietyhell/pseuds/foreverinprinxietyhell
Summary: If you enjoyed this fic, please consider tipping me via PayPal? (Ignore my dead name):https://paypal.me/MordecaiRussell





	This TIme Around

Everyone knew the story by now about their origin story: a long-time fan asking his idol for editing tips to join the ranks of well-known YouTubers . That admiration had given attention he wasn’t used to, yet nowadays it seemed as if those days were over, not wanting to admit aloud that he missed those simpler times; where had it all gone wrong?

Between Dan’s glow up and a recent influx of Tinder hookups, some of which he bumped into early in the morning while stealing cereal as if everything was still normal, the older Brit tried his best to hide an increasing amount of jealousy. A part of him was genuinely glad that sexuality was being openly explored, but at the same time he wished that it would be focused on him instead. Surely he knew the power he still held over Phil after all these years.

“Dan, can we have a chat?” the older one asked on an afternoon after the most recent conquest had left their apartment, “Or do you have another suitor on the way?”

 

“Someone sounds jealous. Should I repay you by giving away some of my own tips?”

“That won’t be necessary.”

“You’ve beeen in quite a mood lately, maybe a fuck or two would help.”

“Look,” Phil stated sharply, which aided in accentuating the tension between them that had been building in the background, “I support you tryna find ‘the one’ or havin’ a good time, but it’s been excessive lately. I feel like you’re waving it in my face…”

“How do you mean?”

“Are you kidding? A guy you’ve been shackin’ up with was just here!”

“I don’t see anything wrong with it,” Daniel remarked with a simple shrug, eyes widening in a knowing way, “You finally fancy me, eh?”

“Wha-?” 

“You want to be the people I bring back to the flat!”

Sputtering out a few retorts to dispute the claim Phil failed to make a concise argument, falling into an awkward silence that rivaled any of the previous ones; of course they still had their arguments as housemates, yet the one boiling between them felt like an avalanche of acid making him a burn victim. All he could do was stare at the boy he’d watched all these years grow from a shy shell of a person to this confident, gorgeous man who was self-aware of his ability to attract others to him.

“Answer me!” 

“...Is it that obvious now?” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” he exclaimed in exasperation as the revelation began to wrap around his mind, “I literally spent years yearning for this day and when I give up you decide ‘Hey, I love you like that’?!”

“I didn’t want to face that side of myself, I was in denial!” 

“It took you nine years and us living in two different places for you to accept your sexuality? To admit you have feelings for your best friend?”

“Kind of? Hell, I struggled with my sexuality and didn’t know what to do about it!”

“If that’s not internalized homophobia then I dunno what is, bloody hell Phil…”

“That’s not… I didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable, not after _that_ video got leaked, y’know?” Phil tried to explain as tears started to build at the threshold of dark lashes, “Thought I could get over what I thought was a crush. Not that simple it seems.”

“No shit!” 

“You’ve moved on, I get that... “

“Clearly you don’t!” Dan argued in sheer annoyance, throwing up his hands in order to avoid outright lashing out at the other, “It hurt like fuck loving you that long! Especially when we’d not date for months and you’d come back as if it were nothing!” 

“Didn’t mean to hurt you, I thought you knew what we were getting into being friends with benefits!”

“I can’t… No, I _won’t_ go back! D’you think this is a fucking joke?!”

“‘Course not…”

“Then why now? D’you feel so entitled to me that when I start moving on you decide I’m yours and no one else’s?”

“That’s not it at all!”

“Then how is it? Tell me so I can understand.”

Phil was lost for words at the overwhelming amount of emotion fighting to reach the surface instead of staying stoic while he was constantly being yelled at over revealing how he truly felt. If only he had known back then when he was insecure about finding men attractive that it was only pointed at one specific person, that he should have accepted that part of himself sooner; if only he could wake up with amnesia and forget about these stupid, nonsense feelings. 

“Don’t have an answer?”

“I never meant to hurt you, I’m sorry if that’s how it seems.”

“That doesn’t explain why you chose to come out about it ‘til today.”

“Everything’s changing, but us? That’s the one constant in our lives and I can’t let that go!”

Taken aback by the sudden vulnerability that came forward all of a sudden the two stayed silent aside from sniffling that came to try and prevent tears from being shed. Collapsing into outstretched arms Philip buried his crying face into the hollow of a familiar neck like when they would sleep together, innocently or otherwise, to feel safe when there were no other forms of security, letting a few flow into fading teeth marks left behind from the stranger that had gone away a few hours ago, “I-I can’t let this be the end, I almost lost you once, can’t face that again!”

“Phil, listen,” the younger one started off as he started to rub small circles into the nape of a downturned neck, “Whether or not we’re dating, we’re soulmates.”

“Figured as much…”

“I was being sentimental, you jerk!” he jokingly chided, which gained a faint chuckle out of the two as anger slowly subsided, “Not gonna lose me, alright?”

“Is there any way I can make it up to you?”

“Well, there is one thing I can think of…”

“I don’t like the sound of it, that’s your ‘I’ve got a plan’ voice!”

“Let’s order pizza from our usual place,” Dan started with a smirk that the other was now only aware of as he reluctantly raised back up to mend a complaining spine at being bent over for too long, “And if that Zac Efron-esque fella delivers you’ve gotta make a move on ‘im!”

“Oh, fuck me…”

“With that kind of attitude hopefully he will.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this fic, please consider tipping me via PayPal? (Ignore my dead name):  
> https://paypal.me/MordecaiRussell


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